i'm on the delivery man's side. . .

This is why I don't read mommy blogs (but I just looked at this one while watching the evening news and how much crime there is in a place like South Bend, Indiana):

So I was standing there choked up because the shelving unit it so beautiful, and I know, SO WHAT. It's just a shelving unit, for crying out loud. People have real problems, HEATHER, and here you are going on and on about a shelving unit? Could you possibly be more out of touch?

And then you call me douche. End scene.

It just so happens that this is the shelving unit I'm going to use to file away all the paperwork concerning the charities I work with. HA! SEE? That's called a NEENER.

Yeah, no it's not. The "neener" is to the rest of us who don't have the luxury to work with charities and instead have to buy shelves for normal, selfish pursuits, like shelving things that aren't going to rebuilt the rainforest. (And since they're probably books, are probably causing that problem in the first place. Oops.)

Let's face it: charities have overhead and costs (shelves to organize papers); they are not magical, beautiful units that have suddenly solved the bajillion year old problem of how to streamline a bureaucracy. So to assume the reader is going to give in and take the presence of charity-related paraphernalia at face-value and say, well! that's okay! don't actually worry about problems, just insinuate yourself into yet another "not-for-profit" whose mission statement is really just a wonderful band-aid on your guilt-ridden ego, and put those papers on those shelves!

She then recounts a charming episode in which her magical two year old says "shut up" in the presence of the hired help that has come to bestow upon them those magical world peace making shelves. (They must be great because I know IKEA prefers not to deliver.) The blogger explains to the man that she means "shut up" in the "shut the front door" kind of way. You know, the equally as irritating way. In the way "hella" is. In the way it should be outlawed in public and in the way you should get some sort of electric shock on your brain if you think it. But whatever.

The delivery man then leaves, saying something about how "Well, if that is okay in your house." Sure, point taken that his uppity sarcasm shouldn't be used to tell someone what to do in their house. That's fine, I agree; it's important not to tell people what to do, especially on their turf. But I think it also shows the importance of recognizing that slang and more profane verbal options don't fly with everyone. No matter what, you continue to exist in a cultural setting that you must be aware of. This is something my husband & I, who use profanity on occasion or more like most adults, will have to deal with as our son gets older. It was something I had to deal with with the kids I worked with in NYC. (Not to say "shut up" is the same as saying fuck. ass. But it is still a fairly aggressive utterance.)

But in his defense, the man might have thought the girl was addressing him, and could have been taken aback. The man could be making the point that the ambiguity of the statement indicates that caution should be used when uttering the statement. (And would have been better off saying, "Oh, well I thought she was telling me to shut up, you can understand the confusion, I'm sure.") I'm not criticizing this mother's parenting (even though I'm happy to, not as a mother myself but as a former nanny who had to pick up the BULLSHIT SLACK THAT PARENTS LIKE THESE leave when it comes to their kids' behavior, where they want their kids to be special but still be liked by everyone), but am instead pointing out that people who say "SHUT UP" to mean "no way" are big fucking douche-nozzles.

(The commentators are just as bad.)